We Are Family
Sometimes, you forget that you were once a child that ran around with other children goofing off and playing silly games. You forget that you had cousins or best friends from school that you giggled and argued in childlike fashion with. You forget the moments of lightness during your youth.
You forget…until you have a gathering with those cousins…then you remember all those precious joys. There's something about seeing the kid in their grown, older eyes that connects you to the very youngest part of your own heart. It pulls wonder and merriment from the hidden recesses of your soul. That part that has been overlaid with the stresses of adulthood; the bills, the jobs, the responsibilities of home, kids, and life in general. Seeing the people who grew up with you somehow allows that youthful energy to burst through the cobwebs of age subsequently clearing them out at the same time. It's its own brand of magic.
I have a large family network. What I lacked in the amount of friends in school, was made up with the abundance of cousins. They were an essential part of the cadre of friends that I had. Our parents were close so we always saw each other for birthdays, holidays, and any other event. We had sleepovers frequently and went to each other’s houses to play. What parents today call play dates that are carefully scheduled and overseen, happened organically and on the fly within our family. Forever were our parents being harangued with the, “Can I go to this cousin’s house/Can that cousin come over,” question. And mostly, the answer was yes because there was no doubt that all the children knew the rules at their aunts’ and uncles’ houses. It was just natural.
As we grew older, some of the aunts and uncles began to have issues with one another that resulted in the fracturing of our closeness. Interestingly, though, we cousins were observant enough to let their problems stay their problems and we continued to be delighted when we saw each other. Certainly, there were a few cousins that got sucked into the family drama and developed the same perspective as their respective, angry parents…but, on the whole, most of us weren’t going to allow these disruptions to sever our own ties.
What did happen, though, was that the gatherings for every celebratory reason began to taper off and we cousins found ourselves seeing less and less of each other. Then, of course, we grew up and had our own marriages, kids, careers, and saw each other more rarely still.
Recently, we decided that we would gather without the aunts and uncles in an effort to restore the familiarity that we all once had. Most of us were there and it turned out to be like no time had passed. We laughed, danced together, sang together, caught up, and posed for selfie after selfie. We reminisced about the old days but not in a way that suggested that we wished to go to “back then”, but in a way that highlighted the gratitude we felt that we got to live with the ideal of togetherness as a family.
In this time of great uncertainty where the world seems very mean and harsh, it’s nice to be in a space with people who you feel accepted, loved, and safe with. These people, who watched you grow from a snotty-nosed child with play-tousled, ratty hair into a more refined adult, are precious indeed. Even though they have this knowledge of you during those rough and tumble days, they don’t hold it against you. In fact, it’s reflected upon humorously and celebrated for just how far you’ve come. Having validation and love from those who know you, warts and all, is the sweetest extension of grace that I know.
We ARE family.
